Prompt 50: The Partner "I'm Doing More" Conversation

I'm [N] weeks postpartum and I'm furious at my partner for not doing more. We need a real conversation.

My situation:
- Who does the night feeds: [E.G., "only me (breastfeeding)" / "only me because I have to" / "we try to split but it falls apart"]
- Who does the household: [E.G., "I do everything when I can" / "we both try" / "he thinks he's helping but he isn't"]
- Who's working: [E.G., "I'm on leave, partner is back at work" / "both home" / "both back to work"]
- How I feel: [E.G., "invisible" / "touched out" / "angry" / "resentful" / "scared of how I sound"]
- How partner is: [E.G., "trying but clueless" / "avoids the baby" / "wants to help but doesn't know how" / "weaponizing incompetence" / "going through their own PPD/PPA"]
- Recent argument: [E.G., "we fought about dishes" / "we haven't fought but it's simmering" / "I snapped about laundry"]
- Mental load: [E.G., "I track everything (appointments, feeds, diapers)" / "I have to ask for help" / "I feel like the project manager"]

Please give me:
1. Why this is the #1 relationship issue in postpartum (and why it's not anyone's fault)
2. The 'mental load' conversation script (not 'do more dishes,' but actual visible tasks)
3. How to delegate without micromanaging
4. How to handle the 'I'm at work all day' defense (and the math on what you do)
5. The 5 specific asks (concrete, not 'help more')
6. How to ask for what you need without it becoming a fight
7. How to recognize if this is PPA/PPD-fueled anger (vs. relationship issue)
8. When to involve a couples counselor

Important: I want to fix this, not just win the argument.